Thriving couples do this. Do you? Relationships with Isiah McKimmie

Thriving couples do this. Do you? Relationships with Isiah McKimmie
March 24, 2021 Sandra Henri

Images by Aimee Catt


Have you ever wondered what the ‘secret sauce’ for a great relationship is?

Maybe you’ve already nailed it.

Or maybe you’re wondering why some couples ‘just work’ and want to bring some of that into your relationship.



We often have an idea that it’s big arguments or huge betrayals like infidelity that end relationships. The reality is that for most couples who separate, there isn’t one single event they can point to. They might even have described themselves as a couple that ‘rarely fight’. The most common reason couples break up is simply having ‘drifted apart’. 


They no longer feel close.
They’ve stopped laughing together.
They argue over little things – sometimes they’ve given up arguing at all because they know it won’t change anything.
They stop telling each other about the things that happen in their day that really mean something to them. 


It’s in the ways we stop making an effort. The ways we stop ‘turning towards’ a partner (‘turning towards’ is the relationship-science term for paying attention to each other).



The research shows that it’s small actions that make a big difference to relationships


Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues have been studying what makes relationships happy and successful versus what leads to separation for over 40 years. Their research are therapy methods are one of the most well validated and successful methods for Couples Therapy in the world.

Their method of couples therapy is also proven to beneficially impact a couple’s relationship.

I’ve completed Levels 1, 2 & 3 of The Gottman Method of Therapy training. I love how practical and straightforward their advice is.



Based on this research, here are 7 things you can do to make sure your relationship thrives:

Say ‘I love you’ every day

Kiss passionately for no reason at all

Go on regular dates

Make intimacy a priority

Cuddle every day

Maintain sexual variety

Share appreciation for each other often



This is the ‘secret sauce’. This is what couples can do to maintain their connection and intimacy.



By Isiah McKimmie
Couples Therapist, Sexologist + Coach
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